So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
