If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
