did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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