I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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