you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
