Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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