Please don't use social media to get back at me.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
