oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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