Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
