Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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