I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
