if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
