Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize
