he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
