she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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