she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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