Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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