Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
