I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Randomize
