im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
