I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Sober January is a disaster.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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