you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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