Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Randomize
