if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
