girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
