Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
