ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
