Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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