You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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