so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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