If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
