youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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