69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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