I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
