you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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