3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
