so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Randomize
