He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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