A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
