Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
