i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Randomize
