you're like a bully in the Christmas story
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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