What a fucking waste of an outfit
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
