Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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