Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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