its not stalking. its research.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
