my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
