My hair reeks of homosexuality.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
