he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
