I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
