I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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