that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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