So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
